SON OF DARKNESS

A Testimony, Jeffrey Craig Fenholt




You know, in my life, I had gotten bound up in drugs; and bound up in rock n' roll; and in all this stuff, for the entertainment industry. As a matter of fact there is a book, not necesssarily tryin' to push the book, but in this book, From Darkness To Light there's a lot of pictures of me, that show me from the old days. And people look at me now, and some think that I look pretty rough. But actually, I think I look pretty cute, compared to some of these old pictures. :) They wouldn't even put the roughtest pictures in this book. Here's me on the cover of Time Magazine. I don't know what else we got in here. Oh here's some...when I was invited to the White House, lookin' really nasty. That picture over....this particular picture here was pretty grim. And yet Jesus died for me, and gave me life. I received Him as my Lord. And my Savior. You know I wasn't interested in things of God. I was interested in things of the world. And I know a lot of people that have tried to attain things; and then, when they get to the top, or when they reached the success, the things that they think are gonna bring them happiness, don't. They find that they are more miserable, than they were when they first started. Jesus said, I've come to give you life, and life abundantly.

I grew up in a rough situation. By the time I was twelve years old, I was in Juvenile Hall. I had gotten busted; and had problems with the police, problems with authorities. Didn't recognize any authority, reall, above me. Was out doin' rock'n'roll as young kid. Singing, writing music in bands. And when I wasn't in the Juvenile Hall, I was out doin' rock'n'roll. I sang alot differently than I sing now. I was singin' more like, you know, with a rage. I had rage in me. Even as a young kid. Fifteen years old, right before my tenth grade of high school, I got a hit record. The summer before I entered the tenth grade, I believe it was, I got a hit record. It hit the top of the charts in the midwest; and actually hit the top 40 on the charts on the national charts. And we were already startin' to draw big crowds of kids. And I got out singin' every night about things that were difficult. Things about the world. You know like...I think the first record that the band had was called Goin' To Far. And I think that the music was all about how you've treated us wrong. You know.... 'Well you've gone to far now. I spread my wings in a little now, you let me down. You caused the pain to settle'. And we went on, and performed. And you know, kids began to gravitate towards what it was we were doin'. I started smoking dope; got into the booze; got into all the mess. You know, maybe some of you that are watchin' right now. You think, 'Well, I'm just comin' up. I'm just comin'. I want to attain. I want to get what the world has to offer me'. Well, if you're goin' to get into the fast lane, you better check the exit signs. Because the exit signs say 'Hell'. If you don't have the Lord Jesus in your heart, everything you can gain in this world is gonna come to nothin', without the Lord Jesus.

There was a time when I was so broken as a kid. I didn't know where to look. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know anything about church, born-again church. Never heard the Word of God. I ask my father one time what his favorite Scripture was, after I got saved. I asked him. He told me, 'Oh, I know the Bible'. I said, 'Well what's your favorite Scripture?' He said, 'God helps those who help themselves'. Well it sounds like something that we've all heard. But I can tell you, that's not found in the Bible. God helps those who call upon His name. And we need to give our heart and our life to the Lord.

My whole life was filled with blues, rock'n'roll, violence, drugs, craziness. And yet, I thought that, because I could get drunk and laugh; I thought, maybe I could have happiness from time to time in my life. But the happiness I had was a fleeting kind of happiness. It was the kind that would come and go, literally with the changing of who I was around, or what is was I was doin'. By the time I was almost twenty years old, I found myself making large sums of money. Being involved in a production that had sold millions, and millions, millions of albums. Signed to the biggest management company on the face of the earth, and out touring and rock'n'rolling. You know what we're findin' now, Reeni? We're findin' an awful lot of people from the entertainment industry are comin' in. Some that are in their thirties, some in their forties, some in their twenties. But they're comin' and sayin', 'We've already had some success. But it's not enough'. You know, let me tell you somethin'. It'll never be enough. It'll never be enough for you. Nothing will ever satisfy you until you give your heart to the Lord.

Some of you might think, 'Well, I've got my friends, I got my rowdy friends. I want to do what it is I do'. I'm gonna tell you the truth. I have never met a rowdier group of people than people inside the Body of Christ. For instance, I went to Ken Copeland's biker ministry in September, and I plan to attend again this year in 1995. If you think all christians are just this kind of this type or that type. Why don't you show up to the biker rally out on Eagle Mountain. They didn't ask me to announce it. But I'm gonna tell ya somethin', there's a lot of rowdy people out there that love the Lord. And by rowdy I mean people that laugh, have a good time. People that ride Harleys. Some of the grandma's that I'm meeting now. Some of them are....these grandmas can be some of the roughest we ever dealt with out there. Because they just...man, I'm tellin' you. They believe the Word of God. They get on their knees and pray. And the power of heaven literally falls on the people these grandmas are prayin' for. How about you? Do you have a grandma prayin' for you? Somebody been prayin' for you and askin' you to give your heart to the Lord Jesus.

Well, unfortunately in my life, I didn't have a relative or a mother who was prayin' for me as a kid. I didn't have anybody tryin' to lead me to the Lord. I had grandparents that died when I was very young. But they were involved in Christian Science which is...does not recognized the divinity of Jesus. Do you know that the Word of God tells us that anything is religion, anything that is spiritual , but does not recognize the divinity of Jesus? Did you know that that is not of God? Some people today would tell you that you can be a part of the Buddhist faith, Zen and all this other stuff. Or you can be part of the moslim, or you can be part of new age. Or you can be a part of this. And that, all paths lead to God. And yet anyone who believes that has not read the Bible. You might be an intellectual. You might be sitting down tryin' to analyze everything. If you want to sit down and analyze something. And why don't you sit down and analyze the Bible? The Word of God. Why don't you study the Word of God; and see what the Bible has to say? For instance John chapter 1 says, In the beginning was the Word, and Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him, the Word, all things were made. Without Him, nothing was made that has been made. In Him was Life. And that Life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. If you're such a great intellectual, why don't you try to read and study the Word of God for yourself? Why don't you get down; and why don't you pray; and why don't say, 'God, if you're real show me'. The Word of God says in verse 12 the book of John chapter 1, Yet to all who receive Him. To those who believed in His name. He gave the right to become children of God. The word of God says in verse 14, The Word became flesh and lived for awhile among us. I would also like to challenge with this. To those who say you don't believe the Bible. What don't you believe in the Bible? Which word, which part, which sentence, which historical fact, which truth is it that you don't believe? Because I'm gonna tell you somethin', people have been tryin' to disprove the Bible for centuries, thousands of years. And the Bible has never been disproved, never will be disproved. Every word in the Bible is true. For instance, I'm an overcomer through Christ Jesus. I'm a new creation through Christ Jesus. The old is gone and new has come. Do you know that everything that happened in my life before I gave my heart to the Lord is past history? The new has come. I am a new creation through Christ Jesus. You know that the things I did yesterday, that possibly did not please God did you know that's history? Because I'm under the blood of Jesus. And that, I can come boldly before the throne room of God; and say, 'I blew it. I messed up. I did wrong.' Who do you go to when you do wrong? Do you turn to your friends? Let me tell you, there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And His name is Jesus.

I'm out there workin' relentless. I'm out there witnessin' as much as I can, because I feel the time is short before the second coming of the Lord. And I really feel that your life is possibly in jeapordy. That's why I go out and I witness. I don't want to see anybody die and go to hell. The Word of God ismore importantly than what Jeff happens to think or say. The Word of God says that, God, above else, desires that you prosper and be in good health. And the Word of God says that, God doesn't want anyone to perish, but everyone to receive life, an eternal life. I've had people come up to me and say, 'Well, you know, if God really is a God of love, because the Bible says He's a God of Love, He's not gonna send me to hell.' And I look at them straight in the face; and I say, 'Your right. He gave you the way out. The way is Jesus. Receive Him as your Savior. And if you reject Jesus, you send yourself to hell.' There is no other way from which to go to heaven than through Jesus. You say, 'Well, I don't know if I believe in heaven. Maybe I believe in Nirvana; maybe I believe in hell; maybe I think there's gonna be a party in hell. There's no party in hell guys. It's been canceled due to fire. And I can tell right now, the only party is in heaven.

When I gave my heart to Lord, I wasn't really lookin. I wasn't really interested. I thought 'What do I need?' I mean, again, we got pictures in the book. There's a picture in the book of one of the houses I had when I got saved. Big mansion. Acres and acres of lawn, beautiful lawn overlooking the Long Island Sound, northshore of Long Island. We had a place...we lived in the St. Regent Sheraton Hotel in New York City for ten years. That's a very trippy place at Fiftyfifth and Fifth Avenue in Manhatten. There I was thinkin' what do I need. I'm hangin' with people that are the top of the music industry. Everything I own is paid for. I don't really need anything. But, let me tell you somethin'. There is one thing that was paid for in my life that I had never received; and that was my eternal life, my soul. Jesus died to save me, save my life, save my soul. But I had never received Him as my Savior.

So, there I was, messed up, full of hate. You might look today; and say, 'I don't believe he was ever that full of that kind of hate, or whatever.' I look so sweet and cute now. :) But I was not always this friendly, as I am right now. And when the guys witnessed to me, I stood in my house. I weighed one hundred twenty-five pounds. I still remember exactly what I was wearin' that day. I was wearin' a pair of silk olive green, airforce flyers pants, with all those big pockets. And they were real shiny. And than I had on a pair of beige suede rock'n'roll boots, with kind of boot type heels on the back. No shirt on. I had a whole bunch of gold hangin' off of me. I used to wear a bunch of crosses, but I had crosses made out of emeralds, dark stones. I had two or three of them hangin' off me. Then I had a little tiny cross, that I would wear here. I remember that people would say to me, 'Why do you wear so man crosses?' And I just look at them and say, 'I don't know. I don't know man. I like crosses, ya know?' Well, there was probably somethin' tuggin' on me all the time; sayin', 'Come to the cross. Give your heart to Jesus.' And I had my hair. My hair is pretty long now. I've been lettin' it kinda grow. And my hair back then was down to my waist. And I had it streaked blonde, and all this stuff, and freaked out. And I went down there, just full of hell. Bound up in the occult; was prayin' to spirit guides, and prayin' prayers like, 'To whom it may concern. If you're out there, dude, or dudette, or whatever you are out there. Can you help me?'

Well, I came to a place where I was so sick of the drugs. I had blown my mind. I've made jokes; and said that, 'God's given me half of my mind back. I'm still prayin' for the other half.' But the truth is, man, I was havin' panic attacks. I was full of fear and people always saw me half lit. I always had to be drunk, half drunk. Or, usually, I would like to get some sorta of a buzz goin', or just somethin'; because, I was always havin' panic attacks. And when I'd wake up in the mornin', I would race to get into some whisky, or drink some Martel Cognac; or take a couple of valiums, or pop a whatever. Just somethin' to take away the reality of where I lived. Because when I became aware of my reality, often times my hands would begin to sweat, and my chest would go and heave. And I started gettin' weird and goin' within myself. And I'd say, 'Whoa'. I start to freak and I was havin' panic attacks. Didn't even know why. Did you know that, Perfect love casts out fear? Did you know that fear is a spirit. Because the Word of God says in 2 Timothy 1:7, For God has not given us a spirit of fear. But of power, of love, and a sound mind.

People come up to me a lot, 'How do you walk in to the prisons? How do you go where men have challenged you to kill you? And speak the Word of God? How can you walk into places in the Indian Nation? Where [I won't name the particular one]... but, I was at one recently, where the medicine man, the shaman, said 'If you ever come back, I'm gonna kill you. We're gonna kill you. Because you ruined our pow wow'. Let me tell ya somethin'. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and a sound mind. Just like Martin Luther King said, 'I don't fear any man. I don't fear anything. I fear the God, who created the heavens and the earth. And I love Him. And I give Him my heart'.

What about you? Are you ready to give your heart to Jesus? Are you ready to cast fear out of your life? Are you ready to receive boldness; and to overcome in this life, and in the one to come, through the blood of Jesus? Are you ready to stand strong; and say, 'I'm ready to commit my life'? Are ready young lady, young daughter, daughter of the Living God, kidnapped royalty; you've been stolen away, and now you need to come, and need to claim who you are in Christ Jesus. You need to give Jesus your heart. Young man, you have a destiny; you have a calling on your life. Teenager, you have a God, who loves you; and you need to give Him your heart. Give Him your mind. Give Him your Life, now. And receive Jesus, now, into your heart.

And I want you to pray this prayer with me. I want you to say, 'Lord Jesus save my soul; wash me in your blood; and make me whole. Help me, where I am Lord; and lead me out of darkness. God, who created the heavens and the earth, I worship you. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. And I receive you fully into my life. I am saved; I am born of the Spirit of the living God; and I am an overcomer in this life, and in the one to come'. Praise you Jesus. You prayed that prayer? Call the telephone number on your screen, 714-731-1000. There's somebody there to pray with you. Get in a Bible believin' church. God bless you!

My Deepest Love,
Jeff
Studio, June 5, 1995


BACK TO NUGGETS

© 1997, EFI
Updated: September 14, 2000
Created: 7/25/97